Hello all,

Thank you so much for all your emails and telling me hope you get well, and like I said I'm really sorry I didn't answer your emails straight away, and i did say I would put what happened on my blog,

I been thinking were do I start, so this really goes back to September, after I come of my bike and got better I started to train again and I knew I was going to Singapore in October for a month to do my courses, so I was training really hard as I wanted to get some new pictures, I got to Singapore and was training early in the morning studying all day and training again in the evening,

There is a lovely park in Singapore and in Jakarta where I run is all concrete, but here it was all grass so I was also doing loads of circuit training as well, and I think I did to much to fast, and felt a pain in my belly.

So I just run for a few days and when i trained really hard, it was sore again, so I finished my course and come home, I got home a  few days later my belly was really sore so I went to see the doctor, and he sent me to the hospital and at first they thought it was appendices, and I was kept in and given drugs, fortunately they thought that was all that was needed and that I need to rest awhile and stop training for a while,

At home my friend come from her village come to see me and see how I was doing which was really nice of her, then a few days later, her house was damaged, so i said i come up and help her, as she was trying to clean up and before she was doing some repairs as well, and her kid was being a pain, and I needed a few days away, being sat in the house was doing my head in and I couldn't work, and I read everything a thousand times, and I couldn't even sort out my forms with the council for my business as the guy i needed to see was away, so I thought ok I can go up for a couple of days and help her out,

While I was there on the first morning it was lovely to walk around the lake it was clean, and fresh air and the sun was breaking, and just so peaceful and quiet unlike Jakarta,

I walked back to the village she lives at, and then we started the task of cleaning up and part of that was removing building materials from the roof and the scaffold, its actually bamboo, and one of the other people from the village was helping, and he threw a load of wood of the roof, unfortunately there was a piece of wood on the floor already, that was like resting over a building block, and when the other wood landed on it, it was catapulted straight in my stomach, straight away i fell over fully winded and couldn't breathe at all, my friend come round and picked me up and I couldn't move just sit on the side trying to breathe, all i could think off if i been a bit further away i t would have hit me straight in the face and it happened so fast as well.

So we finished for that day and I tried to eat later and went to bed, and my stomach was really painful every time I moved, in the morning I had a look at my stomach and it was badly bruised, and growing bigger. And the pain was massive, The local doctor said I need to go to the hospital straight away I was suffering from internal bleeding, and I said I cant go hospital not here, I got to go home, my mum will be worried if I'm here,  so I said my goodbyes and caught the bus home, that was a painful journey and the pain got worst and I couldn't look to see the bruising, when I got home. I showed my mum and it was ugly a huge bruise all over my stomach and down my side, and it was all different colours, black yellow blue purple, so she took me straight to the doctor and then to hospital, and thats where i been.

At the hospital they were sticking needles in me, given me tests, doing what doctors do, prod you, push you, ask you if it hurts, well if I'm crying , yes it does, then I had to have some scans. And this doctor come in and told me that I have ripped all the muscles inside me,that hold things like your stomach and that, in place and that they were bleeding. And that he will have to operate on me, so I asked him what he was going to do and he said I need to cut across you belly and I said no you cant, so he sent everyone out and pulled the curtain and asked why, so I had to tell him I work as an escort and I cant have a great big scar across me,

So he looked at me and said ok, look, your insides have been ripped apart, to hold everything in place there are lots of muscles, and you damaged them and ripped them and broken them and your bleeding and we need to stop the bleeding, so what I will do is watch you, if you get worse I'm going in, if you improve we wont cut you, i give you 1 day, we can feed you loads of drugs and stuff that may help, then he leant forward and gave me the sweetest kiss on the forward and said now you need to relax and stop worrying you will be ok,

Here I am, needles in me, tubes in me, I just been told I may need to be cut open, i bleeding inside, I'm scared, my mum is going crazy and he tells me to relax. Not to worry I don't know what that nurse injected into me, but I was relaxed.

Then I started bleeding and i was really scared, I thought all my insides were falling out, amazing what the drugs they gave me do to you, but the nurses who were fantastic told me, your whole body been in shock and it ok, we will look after you, and they did a fantastic job and I cant say enough of how wonderful they were,

After a couple of days the doctor checked me all the time and then said ok, we think your lucky, you got good stomach muscles and fortunately coz of your training, they managed to protect you it could have been a lot worst, and it was also your training them to hard in the first place that they got hurt and you had pain, not an appendicitis, how was I meant to know, but he also said I was to say there and not do anything, for at least another week, we need to make sure, your body can repair itself if you rest.

My friend from the village come down to see me and she stayed with me for the week that I was left in hospital, which i was really pleased about, it meant my mum didn't have to keep travelling back and forth from the hospital. Which was worrying me.

The doctor was brilliant I know he was worried and everyday you could see him starting to relax and start talking to me in a more relaxed manner, I knew he took a risk for me, and I also knew that if he said I have to cut you then he would have to and I would just have to trust him to do the right thing, for the first couple of days I was no way to argue with him anyway once the nurse injected me,

Well I'm at home now, with instructions that I'm not allowed to do anything, I don't think he could have said it enough, over and over and I promised I wouldn't do anything, so I'm laying here in bed ready well I'm typing this at the moment. I been at home for a few days and I got go back next week to get more scans,

The doctor fully understood and I know he took a risk for me and I thank him for that, just wish he explain more what happened, doctors speak a really foreign language all to themselves,

The nurses were brilliant, and absolutely wonderful, and they looked after me really well and when I was scared they sat with me,

My friend who come to the hospital with me, she was an angel I wouldn't know what to have done with out her

My mum, wow she still running around fussing over me, I don't know what to say, I actually feel embarrassed with all her help and her looking after me.

To all my other friends who come round and wished me well, I know they most probably never read this, well I hope they don't as they don't know I work as an escort, but it has been nice to see them. And some of them are really busy with there own families,

And to all the people that wrote back and said hope you get better soon, thank you, I was worried sending out emails to everyone to say I be in hospital, it always sounds like an excuse. As I do try my best to answer them all, so not to answer anyone for a couple of weeks, did worry me, when I was sat in hospital,

So its back to the hospital next week to get my final check up i hope and then it the slow road to recovery and training correctly,

Thank you for reading,

Lady Panache